If I Were In The Military

I'd wait till I maxed my rank and then change my name to something stupid based on that rank.

-General Disarray (or maybe Desiree just to make it even weirder)
-Admiral Ackbar (or Halsey (for Wings fans))
-Colonel Sanders (or O'Truth or O'Corn (but those don't even sound half-way real))
-Major Tom
-Captain... well, Captain could go about a million ways but I think I'd have to go with Crunch (pic to follow)
-Sergeant Slaughter (showing my age with that one)
-Corporal O'Reilly (the movie's awesome but the TV show, for the most part, sucked (especially once Alda got a hold of it))
-and my favorite of all (which, unfortunately, would require me to be a seriously bad soldier) Private Parts.