I made a new shirt... mang! It was slithering this way and that!

European Pencils

They don't sharpen like We Do. Short and Stubby, not Long and Sharp. No Tic-Tac-Toe but Squares and Skinny Pants. Their Vampires wear Sweaters where Ours wear Tuxedos and Cummerbunds. Rubik's Cubes?!? More like Pubic(?!?)'s* Boobs!
Yay, America!

*Fuck you, Scandinavia. Y'all can make Awesome Pr0n (where's the MF'in Slash throught that Zero?!?) but your Puzzles sucks.

P.S. Tomahawk Pangya on You All's Asses (I wanted to "Y'all" again but I just did, in the previous sentence. And the Pangya comment was really more directed at Brazilians rather than Nordics.)!

Got a pedi

I love me some pedi-action. The vibro-chairs alone are worth the price of admission.

The li'l gal doin' mine asked if I had a color picked out and was happily surprised that I did. She was braggin' to the other techs that she had now painted two dudes' toes. Then her mom started my bro-in-law's and my gal was all like: "You got one, Mommy!" Later, her mom, who didn't speak English, asked her daughter to ask if my bro-in-law, Hal, was my dad. The poor bastard's only 6 years older!

(Anybody know why Mimi Bobeck was on The Price Is Right or why everyone on the show was wearing Groucho glasses?)

Random Wacky Photo

I need a bigger litterbox.

And access to The Onion in print.

And some sense of propriety.

Maybe.